MORE DECADENCE

COME ON, ULOMA!
Ok, let me explain. My new Chief Torturer (the one that dishes out the potions and the starvation diet plans) told me on Friday that I can only have Bran flakes. She quickly added, when I didn't flinch, that it can only be one meal (preferably between lunch and dinner). I still looked nonplussed so she added, "If you really want to shift the scale, then you have to do this. And the bran should be taken in a standard mug so u don't ave too much!" I just smiled sweetly and said, "Ok". In my mind I was shouting, "Wicked witch of the west!!! Come and try it yourself!! Idiot!! Kpelenge. Ogwu azu!!" The girl comes to work with her 2 children aged 1 year and 3 months and she has the body of a 12 year old! Idiot!

So, picture the situation. I am slightly (no, very) defiant. I added 1 kilo from being compliant! So I was not very pleased. I made a verbal promise to do better by my next weigh-in (on Monday) but I made the mental calculation... Hmmm, party at Alex's on Saturday nite and I host the Govt College Afikpo Old boys on Sunday and Iya Bose had been contracted to cook!!! E go hard!!!

OLD BOYS MEETING
Saturday morning went well with my skimmed milk and honey for breakfast. Bran flakes (in a bowl!) for lunch... then the fish peppersoup (EXTRA) at the party. Then came Sunday. Skimmed milk and honey for breakfast before church. Came back to see that Iya Bose had set up her spread... Hmmm!!! Took my Bran flakes (on second thoughts I shouldn't have bothered because I knew I was going down! LOL!! Less than 2 hours later, I "tasted" the vegetable soup, then the "fresh fish", then the moimoi, then it made sense to taste the jollof rice (just a fork full) since Obidigbo had made too much noise about how good it tasted! Then I totally lost it... Went downstairs found a green apple and while I was chewing it mindlessly I found some left-over wings. "Warm it up for the children." I told Aunty Cook. Ha! I knew who it was for! Anyway, suffice it to say that I knew I was done for! And weigh-in was only in hours!

DAMAGE CONTROL
This part is gooey... I had to do something quickly if I was going to weigh successfully. And I still have the new problem of reduced bowel movement... so all that food was right there! Decided to call in all the forces... frontal and rear attack! Frontal was ALLI and Bitters capsules... guaranteed to run my stomach and also reduce the intake of oil. 2 capsules each... Then Rear attack was my faithful home-kit enema... Oh, you don't want to know how effective the stuff is! So between last night and this morning my pump-action had been put to good use.

RESULTS...
Just before I went to do my 10 laps at the pool, I stopped at the torturers for my weigh in and massage and guess what? I dropped by .1kg. LOL!!! Cunny man die, cunny man bury am, right!??

But seriously though... this is end of month one and I did not meet my desired (weight) goal. Work to do! Work to do!!! My diet these 2 days will be fish pepper soup, feel free to join me!