FOOD, FOOD, FOOD... EVERYWHERE, EVERY TIME!!!!

Weddings. Funerals. Lunch Meetings. Bible Studies. Girls’ time-out. Special occasions. Valentines Day. Cruises. Birthdays. Cinemas Amusement Park Days. Anniversaries. Away strategy sessions. School visiting days. Air flights. Road trips.

No matter how you try to run from food… it catches up with you!

If you are black, and Nigerian, then you will agree with me that food indeed punctuates everything we do. I remember once when I worked as Head of Marketing & Communications in The British Council, and we had an event to plan. Yes, I remember now, it was the 50^th Anniversary Celebrations for the British Council in Nigeria… grand event, it was  to be. Then my Country Manager at the time, Jill looked through my budget and went, “We are going to feed them, then?”

The look of incredulity on my face was all the answer she required. In my thoughts, I broke into an indicting pidgin spiel, “Which kain woman be dis!? So if dem leave you na so you go collect people children at dinnertime make dem de clap hand for una queen then dem go drink water commot? If dem swear for you…” But as I opened my mouth to speak it was with a lot more civility, “Oh come on Jill, this is Nigeria. Moreso Lagos. Food is taken for granted here!”

And therein lies our problems.

You become labeled as unsociable when you avoid events that will lead you to eat especially the things you shouldn’t eat. Someone told me, “You can pack your own healthy stuff and take with you!” I tried it once. Went to the movies with my fruit pack; an apple, a pear and 2 plums. I have never felt as miserable as I felt that day. Rather than watch the movie, I watched everyone around me stuffing their mouths with that legendry, sweet, warm, crunchy popcorn that you can find ONLY at Silverbird Galleria. I stayed true to my plan on that day but it hasn’t ever worked since then. I just avoid the cinemas.

Another friend advised that she just tries to stay the “focus of attention”, with all the sweet gist, so that she is too busy yapping and gossiping to nibble at things.  Well, I’m not too much of a gister. I am apolitical, too few friends, too much of a workaholic and too much of a born-again Christian so my life is not that “interesting” so gist runs out pretty fast. Then the mouth gets bored… seeking a nibble or gulp or two.

I still insist that for some of us, successful weight loss can only be achieved in a camp somewhere. Everyday life is everyday temptation.