Wednesday, October 6, 2010

MAKING PROGRESS SLOOOOOOOOOOWLY...

EVEN MY TYPING IS SLOW
I am tired. I want food! I want to eat 3 square meals and a snack inbetween if I so wish! I want to wake up in the morning and have a nice full English breakfast; an omelette with everything- 3 eggs, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, green pepper and cheese!!! 2 fat, greasy sausages. 3 strips of bacon. Some baked beans. 2 (make that 3) slices of toast. I also want a nice, tall glass of any juice but grapefruit juice! (Have a bottle a day while on this nasty therapy). For lunch, I want pounded yam and self-cooked egusi soup... with all the animals reporting in their proud textures and shapes; cow tail, cow leg, shaki, round about, chicken, snail, dry fish... Yummy! Then for dinner, I would keep it simple... CHIPS!!! Chips and anything... or nothing... or just MORE CHIPS!!!

Okay... really nice dream! Wake up Lomsee! You want to get Fabulous and Flabless, right? So can that dream for now!

CONSTANT PURGE
That's the trick really. No matter the therapy, everyone seems to be placed on a constant purge so I think I have cracked it. PURGE! PURGE!! PURGE!!! I have discovered all the new tricks that ensure that the stomach is constantly empty and emptied. So here's my plan...

5.30 a.m - Start drinking 30cl of water
6.00 a.m - Drink a glass of Epsom salt
PURGE PURGE PURGE
7.00 a.m - nothing (LOL!)
10.00 a.m - a cucumber cocktail or a green apple
12.00 noon - Drink some tea...
PURGE PURGE PURGE!!!
2.00 p.m - veggies (either a salad or soup or some spinach thing)
4.00 p.m - tea
PURGE PURGE PURGE!!!
6.00 p.m - Last meal (some meat/fish and loads of veg)
7.00 p.m - Drink the master laxative
PURGE PURGE PURGE!!! ...TILL MORNING

SHOULD WORK, RIGHT?
But if for any reason this doesn't do it... that is, guarantee a steady 2 kg loss per week, then we will kick in Papa Z. Papa Z is Zenecal... the sure fat blocker! Have I told you about how it works? Hmmm... that's for another day!

PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE

3 comments:

Fabulous Lhomar said...

Oh and by the way, I drank the wednesday poison this noght and I'm already on the purge level... Hence my weakness...

Ijay said...

You do know you lose water, salt and sugar your body needs with this constant purging, right?
Jiri nwayo o! We still want you alive at the end of it all.

Fabulous Lhomar said...

I'll live later. For now, all roads lead to "slim-fit-Maggie"