I'VE SEEN IT ALL!!!

CASTOR OIL
Have you ever imagined dissolving candle wax then drinking it cold? That's what it feels like to drink Castor oil. But trust me now, I went and did some research and found that it is one of the most effective ways of pushing food out of your tummy real quick! So i found out where it is sold and proceeded to buy and try it out. It is a thick oily drink that is ghastly to drink. It is absolutely tasteless but a thick oily substance that is pretty difficult to swallow. But come on, this is me, the swallower of much worse substances! Does it work? No idea yet but will let you know by morning...

STRESS AND DIET
I don't know about other people but I have seen that it is impossible to take on physical or psychological stress on an empty stomach. I had a really emotionally and physically draining day and that "No-food-on-Friday" crap just was NOT going to work! By the end of the day, I had wolved down 3 sausage rolls, one quartered chicken, 3 oranges and 2 diet drinks! I still had a headache!! Yes... you guessed it, that's how come I decided to try out the castor oil! I had sinned greatly!

HOPE IT WORKS
I have done too well to lose it all in one day of stressfulness. Not sure how much I have lost but it is increasingly noticeable, I think. I look forward to seeing the boys on Sunday and having the 'Ooh' and 'Ah' at what Mommy is looking like now.

Thanks guys!

IT'S WORKING!!!

I'VE GOT FANTASTIC NEW FRIENDS
it is basically a group of girls in diff stages of weight loss encouraging one another and having great fun doing it! Over time, a bonding has occurred and now we all love one another. That's it in a nut shell. Almighty Mastercleanse, Torturers or atkins? All have managed to loose some kgs and still working at it and looking out for one another. It is very encouraging, loving, hilarious and great fun!

Not like you guys who have all gone really quiet!

STILL AT THE TORTURERS O!
I am still hanging wt my torturers and that usually means a different diet plan every 2 days. Fridays are Grapefruit Fast days so you don't get to chew anything! If u get too hungry, a glass of skimmed milk and honey is allowed! Wish me luck!!

I'll do Atkins at some point. Its the most interesting one to date. A typical diet for me in a day is half an unripe plantain, scaly fish and lots of vegetables (cooked without oil). I was scolded for eating the other half of the unripe plantain in the same day. It showed on the scales.

PILLS AND HERBS ASSISTANCE
I do pills I do not understand nor identify while on this program (They say they are giving me herbs... and I choose to believe them. Slimmer You (Carol, weight-watcher) also uses pills like thermogenics and other fat-busters... Basically, there are very people who are patient enough to wait it out. Some of us need metabolism boosters and fate breakers/flushers etc... You know, jet speed!

See y'all!

DREARY ROAD TO SUCCESS
I really don't care what anyone says, this whole weight-watching thing is really like hell. It is slow, long, painful, seeming-endless deprivation. I think that pretty describes hell fire- Think about it! You see but you can't touch. You touch but you can't eat. In my own case, you cook... but you can't eat. I mean remember that prayer (song) "some can eat but have no food, some have food but cannot eat..." I never imagined that i would someday be in the category of those that have food but cannot eat!!! I always thought it referred to people who are sick in hospital, have no appetite, can't keep food down... or some such condition... not a "Me"!!!

ALWAYS ON A DIET
It's really unfair, when you think of it, that for as long as I can remember (in my adult life) I have been too guilty to eat normally! I am and have been on one diet or the other for as long as I remember! That can't be good!

SPRINTER DREAMS
Oh, I need to share this! I dreamt last night that I became a marathon runner. I had such stamina that people were suggesting that I do the long races at the olympics! LWKMD!!! People who know me know that one thing I do NOT have is the stamina for running for a full minute even!!! It was a nice dream but I woke up thinking, "Sh**, I can't even sleep in peace without thinking of my weight!"

I need a life!

MAKING PROGRESS SLOOOOOOOOOOWLY...

EVEN MY TYPING IS SLOW
I am tired. I want food! I want to eat 3 square meals and a snack inbetween if I so wish! I want to wake up in the morning and have a nice full English breakfast; an omelette with everything- 3 eggs, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, green pepper and cheese!!! 2 fat, greasy sausages. 3 strips of bacon. Some baked beans. 2 (make that 3) slices of toast. I also want a nice, tall glass of any juice but grapefruit juice! (Have a bottle a day while on this nasty therapy). For lunch, I want pounded yam and self-cooked egusi soup... with all the animals reporting in their proud textures and shapes; cow tail, cow leg, shaki, round about, chicken, snail, dry fish... Yummy! Then for dinner, I would keep it simple... CHIPS!!! Chips and anything... or nothing... or just MORE CHIPS!!!

Okay... really nice dream! Wake up Lomsee! You want to get Fabulous and Flabless, right? So can that dream for now!

CONSTANT PURGE
That's the trick really. No matter the therapy, everyone seems to be placed on a constant purge so I think I have cracked it. PURGE! PURGE!! PURGE!!! I have discovered all the new tricks that ensure that the stomach is constantly empty and emptied. So here's my plan...

5.30 a.m - Start drinking 30cl of water
6.00 a.m - Drink a glass of Epsom salt
PURGE PURGE PURGE
7.00 a.m - nothing (LOL!)
10.00 a.m - a cucumber cocktail or a green apple
12.00 noon - Drink some tea...
PURGE PURGE PURGE!!!
2.00 p.m - veggies (either a salad or soup or some spinach thing)
4.00 p.m - tea
PURGE PURGE PURGE!!!
6.00 p.m - Last meal (some meat/fish and loads of veg)
7.00 p.m - Drink the master laxative
PURGE PURGE PURGE!!! ...TILL MORNING

SHOULD WORK, RIGHT?
But if for any reason this doesn't do it... that is, guarantee a steady 2 kg loss per week, then we will kick in Papa Z. Papa Z is Zenecal... the sure fat blocker! Have I told you about how it works? Hmmm... that's for another day!

PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE PURGE

COME AND SEE, AMERICA WONDER!!!

NA LIE!
I was at the torturers today, my people. The kind of weight they said I have lost is at best untrue! I come de look dem, dem come de look me! I said, "Listen guys, I am even wearing clothes and you say I have lost another 2 kilos? That will be 6 kilos since Monday last week! Is it possible???" They turned to me and said, "Madam this scale no de lie o! It's the type they prefer to use in hospitals sef!" This is that funny scale that has a "ruler-like thingy" in the front and they keep adjusting and adjusting until the thing starts rocking gently... Do you know it?

WHAT IF IT IS TRUE?
But if for some reason this is true... Then make una follow me thank God o! I am really determined to be good this time (like before) and make significant progress before the year ends... I am counting on your support.

MOM, YOU ROCK!
Oh yes, I saw the children yesterday and they said I have lost weight. Thank God... I hope I can shock them some more when I see them again at the end of of the month. Go mommy!! Go mommy!!!