SHORT BREAK
I was unable to convince my torturers about taking a break from the program! Instead, they doubled my poison so that I will see the rapid results that I seek! Can't everyone understand that I need a break? Just a little one! Well, I had discussed until September with the torturer but I was denied that luxury. She wouldn't even consider the weekend! Let's face it, inertia has set in... and it ain't funny!
YOU OPENED YOUR STOMACH!
That conjures a horrible image in my mind! I am very visual so very slight suggestions spark off my imagination! I just see a woman (not me) with her stomach open in front of her... and every organ in full view! Anyway, that's what they told me. They said I had opened up the stomach again and that is why my appetite has grown back to "large" or what every other person would call "normal"... And the witches are right. I have been constant with the boiled groundnuts, introduced a flavoured water to my regimen (ssssh... haven't told them that!) and 'pick' freely from the children's meals. I had chips at KFC yesterday! You know how I love chips!!! So I need to close it back!
ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE (HELP)
Gotta go back to the Father. It is only He that instils discipline in me. Gotta get nearer my God... in Spirit and in Truth.
Thanks guys...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
LOSING STEAM
AS EXPECTED
I am officially losing steam especially as we get deeper into the summer vacation. I believe only a rekindling of my exercising can help me now!
I am officially losing steam especially as we get deeper into the summer vacation. I believe only a rekindling of my exercising can help me now!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
FATTY TIDBITS...
TRADING STORIES
My 2 new best friends and I are on a BB group called SlimShadies! We trade our secrets, our fears, our pains and our successes as we strive down the path of weight-loss. We are all regulars at the torturers and have learned that a support group suchas we have formed is fantastic since most of our experiences at the torturers are at best, unpopular.
So we whine, and bicker and urge each other on! Today was interesting! We took on the slim people... Thos "Ogwu Azu's" that manage to stay the same weight even after they have eaten a horse! We agreed that we hate them so! We discussed a 45-year old who eats pounded yam every night when she gets back from work. She eats it served in bed. And sleeps off after that. She is a perfect size 10. Her first daughter is 23 or so and her last (of 4) is 16! We decided that she is our top "Hatee".
We discussed the Kpelenge salesladies in shops that put their best plastic customer service face and say to us, "We don't have your size here!" We hate them too! Those smart alec mgbeke white girls in the malls that direct us to Evans when we make the mistake of entering a Dorothy Perkins or River Island shop!
Somebody remembered how we are scorned at Theme parks when the seat belt won't fasten. How we have had to come down from such rides in the full view of our children, friends et al. The embarrassment when we get into a lift and people begin to count us as 2 people when there is a pple weight limit.
The discussions soon went to the different people who feel superior to us because they are slimmer than us. Telling us what to do. What we are not doing. How disappointed they are and how we should "control ourselves". We happily cursed the mouths that had demeaned us over the years and the judgments that had been passed on us.
Our joint resolve was in unison, "Never again!" We are going to crack this!
My 2 new best friends and I are on a BB group called SlimShadies! We trade our secrets, our fears, our pains and our successes as we strive down the path of weight-loss. We are all regulars at the torturers and have learned that a support group suchas we have formed is fantastic since most of our experiences at the torturers are at best, unpopular.
So we whine, and bicker and urge each other on! Today was interesting! We took on the slim people... Thos "Ogwu Azu's" that manage to stay the same weight even after they have eaten a horse! We agreed that we hate them so! We discussed a 45-year old who eats pounded yam every night when she gets back from work. She eats it served in bed. And sleeps off after that. She is a perfect size 10. Her first daughter is 23 or so and her last (of 4) is 16! We decided that she is our top "Hatee".
We discussed the Kpelenge salesladies in shops that put their best plastic customer service face and say to us, "We don't have your size here!" We hate them too! Those smart alec mgbeke white girls in the malls that direct us to Evans when we make the mistake of entering a Dorothy Perkins or River Island shop!
Somebody remembered how we are scorned at Theme parks when the seat belt won't fasten. How we have had to come down from such rides in the full view of our children, friends et al. The embarrassment when we get into a lift and people begin to count us as 2 people when there is a pple weight limit.
The discussions soon went to the different people who feel superior to us because they are slimmer than us. Telling us what to do. What we are not doing. How disappointed they are and how we should "control ourselves". We happily cursed the mouths that had demeaned us over the years and the judgments that had been passed on us.
Our joint resolve was in unison, "Never again!" We are going to crack this!
Monday, July 12, 2010
LIFE BEGINS AT 41
TOMORROW, TOMORROW, I LOVE YOU TOMORROW...
You are only a day away! Happy Birthday, Lomsee! And make sure you enjoy the cakes!
JOY IN WEEDING
I just spent the earlier part of the day putting away the clothes that are now too big for me! Whoop Whoop!! Then I went to my inner cabinets to unearth the clothes that I put away as tight... sorting the ones that now fit. Oh, this is good!!!
You are only a day away! Happy Birthday, Lomsee! And make sure you enjoy the cakes!
JOY IN WEEDING
I just spent the earlier part of the day putting away the clothes that are now too big for me! Whoop Whoop!! Then I went to my inner cabinets to unearth the clothes that I put away as tight... sorting the ones that now fit. Oh, this is good!!!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I AM LOSING IT!!
NOW I AM DODGING THE TORTURERS!
It's a pity what I have found myself doing but the old Uloma has reared her head! I need to push her back and away! I am not sure that I know how. I am rewriting meal plans, substituting calorie counts and generally doing anything I like! I have decided that boiled groundnuts are not so bad especially if I have some tablets of Alli after them to ensure that no oil was retained. I have learnt a mild enema style that helps me unburden my large intestines in a manner that worries even me at its assumed efficiency! I crave Wednesday water! Have slacked on my gym activities and I am not sure what I weigh because I avoid the torturers' scale.
Woe is me! Where can I get a new zest from? I see slim people and I feel, "Who are you kidding? You cannot ever be nearly that slim!" Why is this happening to me??? Maybe I need a vacation. A vacation from... my life!
It's a pity what I have found myself doing but the old Uloma has reared her head! I need to push her back and away! I am not sure that I know how. I am rewriting meal plans, substituting calorie counts and generally doing anything I like! I have decided that boiled groundnuts are not so bad especially if I have some tablets of Alli after them to ensure that no oil was retained. I have learnt a mild enema style that helps me unburden my large intestines in a manner that worries even me at its assumed efficiency! I crave Wednesday water! Have slacked on my gym activities and I am not sure what I weigh because I avoid the torturers' scale.
Woe is me! Where can I get a new zest from? I see slim people and I feel, "Who are you kidding? You cannot ever be nearly that slim!" Why is this happening to me??? Maybe I need a vacation. A vacation from... my life!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!!
I DID WEDNESDAY WATER TWICE!
My people, I did say I am at break-point! I'm at that stage when I become terribly undisciplined and then things begin to go down-hill! I need your prayers! Can you imagine that I decided that I was a wise woman who could beat the witches at their game. I collected the wednesday (brown, smelly) water and decided that I can have a nice binge before drinking the poison. I did! I had 3, not one or 2 but, 3 cobs of freshly boiled corn. I even had both ube and coconut (thanks to Aunty Cook who decided to spoil me - afterall I asked for corn!).
Anyway, this is me thinking, "well since the smelly poison water is going to purge me anyway... I might as well eat anything I wish, then I drink the "Purge Juice"..." Wrong move! I drank the poison and... nothing happened! No, you must understand this. The usual acid trail started at the back of my throat, down to my stomach but apart from on "normal" visit to the loo... nothing happened!
I spent the night knowing that I had all that poison inside of me that needed to get out! Hmm... by morning I opted to have a self-administered 'mild' enema... No way I was going to have that poison in my tummy for that long! I felt better... psychologically at least! But there was the little problem of 2 kilos...
WEDNESDAY WATER: TAKE 2!!
At weigh-in yesterday, I had lost 1 kilo. Hmm, I thought... not too bad. But I needed the 2nd kilo in this "make-or-break week"! I complained that the wednesday water did not work and that I need to repeat it!! Couldn't believe the words were coming from me! But it worked! They gave me a second dose. Took it last night and again... It did not quite purge! I think my body has gotten used to the poison...
What new trick can I find?
My people, I did say I am at break-point! I'm at that stage when I become terribly undisciplined and then things begin to go down-hill! I need your prayers! Can you imagine that I decided that I was a wise woman who could beat the witches at their game. I collected the wednesday (brown, smelly) water and decided that I can have a nice binge before drinking the poison. I did! I had 3, not one or 2 but, 3 cobs of freshly boiled corn. I even had both ube and coconut (thanks to Aunty Cook who decided to spoil me - afterall I asked for corn!).
Anyway, this is me thinking, "well since the smelly poison water is going to purge me anyway... I might as well eat anything I wish, then I drink the "Purge Juice"..." Wrong move! I drank the poison and... nothing happened! No, you must understand this. The usual acid trail started at the back of my throat, down to my stomach but apart from on "normal" visit to the loo... nothing happened!
I spent the night knowing that I had all that poison inside of me that needed to get out! Hmm... by morning I opted to have a self-administered 'mild' enema... No way I was going to have that poison in my tummy for that long! I felt better... psychologically at least! But there was the little problem of 2 kilos...
WEDNESDAY WATER: TAKE 2!!
At weigh-in yesterday, I had lost 1 kilo. Hmm, I thought... not too bad. But I needed the 2nd kilo in this "make-or-break week"! I complained that the wednesday water did not work and that I need to repeat it!! Couldn't believe the words were coming from me! But it worked! They gave me a second dose. Took it last night and again... It did not quite purge! I think my body has gotten used to the poison...
What new trick can I find?
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