TUG OF WAR

Did you ever play TUG OF WAR either as a child or maybe as a team-building exercise in your adult days? Try and recall… There is all that pulling and dragging and tugging and shifting and winning and losing… Very tiring! Even moreso when you are on the losing side. In some cases there is a (battle) line drawn and both teams are warned that the team that’s pulled over the line loses… then the struggle starts!

You have not heard from me for a bit because I have been tugging!

My mind has been crazy trying to settle on the most appropriate weight loss journey for me. The problem with getting into these mind tug-of-wars is that while you are playing the mind games and getting your act right, you do nothing but get fatter on a “no plan”. So, I started July, my birthday month, actually planning to be decadent, and achieving the objective to a “T’. Piled on a few more kilos while I was celebrating, and contemplating what next.

The beautiful bride… me!

What I have not shared yet is the real tug of war that has been in operation. In this case I was the rope! I had over 4 factions battling to save me from myself. They all “knew” for a fact that “their way was best for me”. I haven’t been courted this hard in a long time by so many suitors. One group insisted on a vegan diet coupled with a very rigorous exercise regimen. “Trust me, Uloma, you will begin to feel really good and confident as you see the weight drop off!” I listened, and pondered. And ate more as I pondered, and listened.

Then the meal replacement party came forth. “Uloma, face it, it is what we put in the mouth that makes us fat. Stop putting food in and your body will start “eating itself” and in no time you will be thin! Yaay!!” I listened, and pondered. And ate more as I pondered, and listened. I even tried one or two weeks of these replacements… of course it worked. I lost 8 kilos in 9 days, then I went “normal” again and gained everything back. Did I mention the “chop-chop” team? My great buddies that have rediscovered their very beautiful slim selves after daring the knife? “Uloma, I have lost 22 kilos… I haven’t been this slim in years!” Hmm, truth is even if I was brave enough to undergo the surgery, where I wan find de coins?! I listened, and pondered.  And ate more as I pondered, and listened.

Aah then there was the “bird-food” portion movement. My sister(s) had perfected taming their minds into eating a lot less and filling a lot fuller. “Uloma, if I can do it, so can you! Don’t you love yourself?” I do. Well I think I do but the thought of eating half a saucer of food per meal seems slightly wrong. Maybe I would rather eat one healthy-sized meal a day. (Now there’s a thought). I listened, and pondered. And ate more as I pondered, and listened.

My more famous option was the, “Uloma, I have told you, you can eat on this diet! It is for people that like to eat. You will eat and lose weight!” Why can’t my mind accept this anomaly? I have been conditioned over the years to believe, no, to know, that food makes me fat. Now even though seeing should be believing and all that (for the success stories abound) it is hard for my mind to embrace the thought of eating to lose weight. I listened, and pondered. And ate more as I pondered, and listened. Even popped a snicker bar in my mouth as I wondered, and pondered…