Did you ever play TUG OF WAR either as a child or maybe as a
team-building exercise in your adult days? Try and recall… There is all that
pulling and dragging and tugging and shifting and winning and losing… Very
tiring! Even moreso when you are on the losing side. In some cases there is a
(battle) line drawn and both teams are warned that the team that’s pulled over
the line loses… then the struggle starts!
You have not heard from me for a bit because I have been
tugging!
My mind has been crazy trying to settle on the most
appropriate weight loss journey for me. The problem with getting into these
mind tug-of-wars is that while you are playing the mind games and getting your
act right, you do nothing but get fatter on a “no plan”. So, I started July, my
birthday month, actually planning to be decadent, and achieving the objective
to a “T’. Piled on a few more kilos while I was celebrating, and contemplating
what next.
The beautiful bride… me!
What I have not shared yet is the real tug of war that has
been in operation. In this case I was the rope! I had over 4 factions battling
to save me from myself. They all “knew” for a fact that “their way was best for
me”. I haven’t been courted this hard in a long time by so many suitors. One
group insisted on a vegan diet coupled with a very rigorous exercise regimen.
“Trust me, Uloma, you will begin to feel really good and confident as you see
the weight drop off!” I listened, and pondered. And ate more as I pondered, and
listened.
Then the meal replacement party came forth. “Uloma, face it,
it is what we put in the mouth that makes us fat. Stop putting food in and your
body will start “eating itself” and in no time you will be thin! Yaay!!” I
listened, and pondered. And ate more as I pondered, and listened. I even tried
one or two weeks of these replacements… of course it worked. I lost 8 kilos in
9 days, then I went “normal” again and gained everything back. Did I mention
the “chop-chop” team? My great buddies that have rediscovered their very
beautiful slim selves after daring the knife? “Uloma, I have lost 22 kilos… I
haven’t been this slim in years!” Hmm, truth is even if I was brave enough to
undergo the surgery, where I wan find de coins?! I listened, and pondered. And ate more as I pondered, and listened.
Aah then there was the “bird-food” portion movement. My
sister(s) had perfected taming their minds into eating a lot less and filling a
lot fuller. “Uloma, if I can do it, so can you! Don’t you love yourself?” I do.
Well I think I do but the thought of eating half a saucer of food per meal
seems slightly wrong. Maybe I would rather eat one healthy-sized meal a day.
(Now there’s a thought). I listened, and pondered. And ate more as I pondered,
and listened.
My more famous option was the, “Uloma, I have told you, you
can eat on this diet! It is for people that like to eat. You will eat and lose
weight!” Why can’t my mind accept this anomaly? I have been conditioned over
the years to believe, no, to know, that food makes me fat. Now even though
seeing should be believing and all that (for the success stories abound) it is
hard for my mind to embrace the thought of eating to lose weight. I listened,
and pondered. And ate more as I pondered, and listened. Even popped a snicker
bar in my mouth as I wondered, and pondered…
